While
taking a class in counseling one of the hardest things I had to think about was
to guide, not tell. It is faster and
easier to just tell someone how to do something, correct a wrong answer, or do
it for them. But if you want them to feel good about what they do or grow
personally or professionally, you need to guide them, not tell them.
When
you can mentor a student, a peer, a new employee, or anyone else, you need to
remember that guidance is more beneficial to the mentee than just telling
them. They will remember better, do it
better and feel better. When a student
gives you the wrong answer to your question, ask him another question, give he/her
a clue to help them to the right answer or model something by showing an
example. They feel great because they
got the answer right, and they weren’t embarrassed because they were wrong the
first time. They are more likely to try again.
Oh, I admit that sometimes those
techniques don’t work, and you just have to say, “Great try.”
When
you are mentoring a peer or a new employee, you use the same techniques. Show them how to do something, then let them
try it. You may need to ask questions or
give clues or even show them again, but they will feel better about the
process. I used to have bus drivers who
didn’t know how to control the students on their bus so there were often discipline
referrals from that driver. I discussed
having rules and following them, then I showed them a video of children being
well behaved on a bus and a bus driver who addressed issues immediately. I then asked them to try a few things then
get back to me. I didn’t tell them what
to do. I gave them the opportunity to
try things on their own. I mentored the
driver and there was eventual success. The same would be true if you have a
teacher who is having problems in the classroom. You guide them, not tell them. Guidance is mentoring.
