My Parent’s Keeper: The Guilt, Grief, Guesswork and Unexpected Gifts of Caregiving

The Educators Book Award Committee evaluates all books which meet the criteria of the award, however only one receives the award. With that in mind, the committee will share information through a blog format about books that were in the top five considered for the 2019 award. One of those books is My Parent’s Keeper: The Guilt, Grief, Guesswork and Unexpected Gifts of Caregiving by Jody Gastfriend. This book received one of the two Honorable Mention designations for 2019. The last 20 pages of this book provides a compilation of resources and strategies. Even more importantly, it stresses that no caregiver is alone; many people are on parallel paths in the journey called life.

Many of us will face the role reversal and become caregivers for those who gave us life. Note the title of the book. Gastfriend delineates the many aspects of being a caregiver. She outlines the need to address preparation for the possible change in roles through clear communication with all involved people. Too often, families avoid the conversation and make assumptions about “who” will become the caregiver. That just intensifies the stress for the “volunteer” caregiver.

Gastfriend outlines the false assumptions that many make about the “organizations” that will meet the financial costs. Many of the government programs do not cover the expenses—private pay becomes a reality that many have not included in their plans.

One of the author’s insights is poignant—a paraphrase—People do not plan to fail; people fail to plan. That is sage advice.